Thoughts on love...

I was never big on exclusively dating. Being tied down to one guy was just not my thing. I never saw the point to staying with someone who I did not see a future with. I was never delusional enough to be able to look past the inevitable. Before Michael, my longest "relationship" was 3 1/2 months and I had never muttered the "L" word to anyone I had dated.

I found my soul mate, the love of my life, and my best friend when I was 21 years old. We were married at 24. He was dead at 29. Those were the best 8 years of my life! We were two people who were skeptics of love. But somehow love found us. He was everything that I secretly hoped for but was pretty sure did not exist. Our relationship showed me that anything is possible when you take the risk and open yourself up.

So here I am almost 30 and single again. Not exactly where I thought I would be, that is for sure. This time around I am more mature, and unfortunately much more jaded. I know that love does indeed exist and it is not just a product of attraction and infatuation like I had believed before Mike came into my life. But I have to wonder, will I ever feel true love again for another? Some people go a life time without falling in love. What are the odds that I can find love a second time around?

I would love to eventually find someone who God willing I can spend the rest of my life with. Hell, I guess even just a few more good years with, if that is what is in the cards for me. But at the same time, I am totally prepared to live the remainder of my life as a single woman. I think I would rather be alone than settle for someone who is just "keeping me company".