Crazy? I was crazy once...

Lately I really feel as if I am losing any sanity I had left.

Some days I am doing so well. I am happy and hopeful for the future. Other days I lay in bed with tears streaming down my face praying for death's warm embrace.

Some days I want nothing more than to stay home in my jammies surrounded by things that remind me of Mike. Other days I feel as if I will crawl out of my skin if I don't find a way to distance myself from the memories.

Some days I want to be surrounded by friends. Other days I cannot even manage to pick up the phone, or answer the door.

Some days I am so full of energy nothing can stop me. Other days I can barely hold my head up.

Life is such a roller coaster since Mike died. Every time I think I start to get used to the loops, hills, and turns the track changes again. I just want to get off this ride already! I really feel like I am going crazy. I know that it is just a natural part of the grieving process, but it does not mean that I have to like it!