Realizations

The other day it hit me... I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It explains a whole lot. Looks like I will have to add finding a good therapist to the list of things I need to take care of when I get home from Vegas.

Speaking of Vegas we leave tomorrow morning. I am so thankful for this trip. I swear if I were not leaving town for a week, I would most likely be checking myself into a mental health facility instead. I re-live Mike's death at least 20 times a day sitting in this house. Each flashback brings along an anxiety attack. I am unable to focus on tasks and lose hours of time where I have no clue till I look at the time and realize that I have been sitting staring at the wall for 3 hours.

Everyone thinks that I am doing so well, and that I am so strong. I guess that is because I can function with distractions. It is not till I am alone that the basket case comes out.