Last night I had a dream...
In it I woke up to the sound of music upstairs. I went upstairs to find Mike alive and well playing on his computer. I ran to him and hugged him with tears running down my face I buried myself in his chest and sobbed telling him about the horrible nightmare I just had.
And then I woke up....
For the first time since he died, I did not wake up in an anxiety attack and I did not re-live his death. But soon I realized that I was dreaming and my life was actually the nightmare.
Why must my subconscious be so cruel? I prefer the anxiety attacks over the reminder that I am living my worst nightmare.
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Jess,
ReplyDeleteI had those dreams pretty early on. Most of the time I could see him but not touch him or talk to him because he wouldn't talk. I would ask questions and he would just look at me.
Now the dreams I have are better--bringing up memories of good times and reliving them.
Maybe it is just something we all have to go through to get back to the good ones?
Take care!
Lynette (Widows Too Young)
As you remember I had some pretty bad nightmares too for a while after my dad died. I am sure they will pass, but the good dreams you get, are happy memories. They will remind you of the good times you had, which right now makes you sad, but later it will make you happy and bring a smile to your face I am sure.
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