The other day it hit me... I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It explains a whole lot. Looks like I will have to add finding a good therapist to the list of things I need to take care of when I get home from Vegas.
Speaking of Vegas we leave tomorrow morning. I am so thankful for this trip. I swear if I were not leaving town for a week, I would most likely be checking myself into a mental health facility instead. I re-live Mike's death at least 20 times a day sitting in this house. Each flashback brings along an anxiety attack. I am unable to focus on tasks and lose hours of time where I have no clue till I look at the time and realize that I have been sitting staring at the wall for 3 hours.
Everyone thinks that I am doing so well, and that I am so strong. I guess that is because I can function with distractions. It is not till I am alone that the basket case comes out.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
It is good that you know whta your feelings are and the things that need done. Granted it may take awhile to get to tasks. And I know that tasks can be overwhelming at times, and with all that has happend it put the icing on the cake. You are right, I see that you hold it together with distractions. Maybe find a hobby, one that distracts you alone so you don't vatch yourself staring at wall. Maybe even it is time to join a support group. I am only offering my suggestions. I can even help you figure out a hobby.Say ...you like photography. How about going out into nature and people and taking picturs and putting together a scrapbook/portfolio...never know...might make you rich...
ReplyDelete