I am not sure what has changed. Maybe it was all the prayer and reflection, maybe it is Mike giving me clarity? Maybe my brain has been able to heal from some of the trauma? But for the first time since Mike died, I am starting to feel strangely normal again. I have come to the realization that I do not have a Scarlett Letter after all!
Things are still scary as hell. I have no clue if they will work out. But I just see no reason to stress out over it anymore. Que Sera, Sera! That is my new motto. My husband died, I really can't think of anything worse than that. And well, I am getting through it one day at a time. What do I really have to fear when I have already lived my worst nightmare? Life is too short to worry about what might be. From now on I am living for the present, leaving the pain of the past behind, and not worrying about the future. Because if I have learned anything through all this, it is that sometimes there is no future to worry about anyway!
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One little victory at a time is all that we can ask for and you are doing it! Keep it up and way to go!!
ReplyDelete((HUGS)) Lynette
That sounds wonderful! xoxoxo Kim
ReplyDelete"...sometimes there is no future to worry about anyway!"
ReplyDeleteVery well put on those last few lines and a great reminder to me. I needed that at the moment!! I found your blog through the bulletin board. I was widowed 16 months ago at the age of 28 so the title of your blog instantly grabbed me.